Before the debate, can we just get one thing out of the way? The candidates love America. Seriously, they LOVE it. Our presidential candidates love America almost as much as they support the troops which, as they make abundantly clear about thirty-seven thousand times a day, is a LOT.

They love America so much that if one of the debate questions tonight is, "If you love America so much, why don't you marry it?", I can only assume both candidates would respond, "Only, and I mean ONLY because I am already married and America does not allow polygamy. Oh, and also I wouldn't do it if America is male because I am iffy on the idea of same-sex marriages. Other than that, find me a preacher and get America a white dress, 'cause I'm ready to get hitched!"

So can we just concede the following? McCain loves America. Obama loves America. Joe Biden loves America. And, doggone it, Sarah Palin loves America.

There.

Now maybe they can talk about something that matters.