I've done a bad thing. A bad, bad thing. Seriously. Bad.

I lied to a CHILD.

I'm pretty sure that, next to kicking puppies or watching four episodes of "Gossip Girl," lying to children is about the worst thing you can do.

Now to be fair, I didn't mean to lie to this child. It was purely accidental and my intentions were good. But you know what they say, "The road to hell is paved with reasons why Jill is a terrible person for lying to a child."

They do say that, don't they?

Ok, so it started innocently enough. A child asking a question: "Jill, why won't you play volleyball with us?"

See, it SOUNDS like an sweet, innocent question. Especially when it's written in italics and all. But it really went more like this:

"Why won't you play volleyball with us why won't you play volleyball with us why won't you play volleyball with us WHY WON'T YOU PLAY VOLLEYBALL WITH US WHY WON'T YOU PLAY VOLLEYBALL WITH US!??!?!?!!"

So after the one-hundred-seventy-third time the question was asked, I may have told the child that I simply couldn't play volleyball. I may have told the child that it was simply impossible for me to play volleyball.

I may have told the child that I was not able to play volleyball because I was ON THE OLYMPIC VOLLEYBALL TEAM and didn't want to play with him because I feared injury and didn't want to LET DOWN AMERICA.

I may have also told the child that I had qualified for the Olympics in two events: beach volleyball and slalom volleyball. And that I play Scrabble with Michael Phelps. And that he couldn't see me on the tv coverage of the Olympics because there were "union issues."

Yes. I am a terrible person.