HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE:
by Jill "Tactful" Twiss

Here is a thing I know from Miss Manners:

When introducing someone to a different someone, you should do it by presenting an interesting fact about each of the someones. For example:

"Jenny, this is Bill. He is an architect and an avid birdwatcher."

"And Bill, this is Jenny. Jenny invented toast and is known for her wild antics at the swimming pool."

The problem arises when you don't really know anything about the person you're introducing. When you've only met this person briefly and, due to a very strange conversation, happen to only know one strange fact about him/her.

Which is how I ended up using THIS introduction the other night:

"This is Theresa. She lost her virginity to a Mexican."

Sigh....

It's a wonder I have any friends at all.