People Who Have Theorems:

1) Pythagoras

2) Descartes

3) That girl from "The Wonder Years"**

People Who Do Not Have Theorems:

1) Me

People Who Want a Damn Theorem:

1) Me

Possibilities I Am Considering for the Twiss Theorem:

1) IF Person A spends a lot to time with Person B,
AND Persons A and B get along splendidly,
AND Persons A and B seem to have a mutual attraction,
AND Person A is Jill Twiss,
THEN it will be about 47 minutes until Person B announces he is gay.

Please feel free to introduce other possibilities.

**No, it is not called the Winnie Cooper Theorem. I checked.