There is an enormous difference between real-life drunkeness and at-a-theater drunkeness.

For example, when one is drunk at a bar, one might SAY, "Let's get naked, paint our entire bodies blue, and throw ourselves against a wall," but one couldn't actually DO it. There is, after all, no readily availably paint, no blank walls, and no one to encourage you to get naked.

At a theater, there are all of these things in great abundance.

And thusly passed another Friday night at the Playhouse.

No, it wasn't ME that was naked. Or blue. Or forever immortalized on the wall. 'Twas someone else. Though a teensy part of me WISHES that it had been me.

I just thought you should know

OPENING NIGHT:

HER: I can't get your dress hooked.

ME: That's my cue. I have to go on.

HER: You can't. You'll be naked.

ME: If I'm not out there in two seconds the entire play will stop.

HER: If you go out there naked, the entire play will stop.

ME: And I would have to charge more. No, I'm going!

HER: You shall be naked!

ME: Not if I hold my dress up with one hand whilst dancing in a go-go girl style with the other.

HER: Right-o

and so it was.

Happy opening night.