When I was seven years old my neighbor, an eighth grader named Zip (really) decided to teach me to play chess. Every day he would teach me about a new kind of chess piece and how it could move on the board. The point being, I suppose, that eventually I would learn what all the pieces did and we could play chess together, since Zip didn't seem to have any eighth grade friends of his own and chose, rather, to hang out with me.

The problem was, although every day I learned what a new chess piece did....well, similarly, every day I forgot what all the old pieces did. Thus no chess playing ever ensued.

This isn't a funny story at all, but i feel that somehow it is a metaphor for my life.

And it's 4:30am. No one should have to be funny at 4:30am.

If Zip happens to be reading this, I hope he has friends now. And I still haven't learned to play chess.

AND as much as I want to delete this, I'm leaving it. As a reminder to me as to why it is a bad idea to attempt to post at 4:30am.

If you sort of want to punch me in the nose right now, I'll understand.