OK, not to brag or anything, but I'm starting to actually get paid to do stand-up comedy.

Like real money, not just "all the tequila shots you can drink" (about three.)

And getting paid to do comedy is a REALLY fun thing. Really.

Because (and I suspect every comedian does this) at some point you start breaking it down to the amount of money you get paid per minute onstage.

Here's what I figured out:

Last weekend, I made two dollars and fifty cents per minute onstage.

That's almost as much as phone sex.