It's time to announce the winners of my monthly(ish) VERY EXCITING CONTEST!

To recap, this contest asked my readers to create a slogan for the Jill Twiss comedy bumper sticker--an exciting piece of merchandise to be given out at comedy shows.

I'd like to say that decisions were difficult because everyone's entries were brilliant but, frankly, some of the entries didn't even make sense (person who entered with, "Have You Hugged Your Mormon Missionary Today?", this means you.)

I'm picking three winners and a bunch of honorable mentions. Because I want you lovely readers to get all the giggles that I did in reading the responses. And because it's my contest and I can pick all the winners I want. So there. The three winners will receive a VERY EXCITING PRIZE in the mail.

HONORABLE MENTION:
"Jill Twiss--Adhesive, Water Resistant, and Delicious Smelling for the Common Drug User" -Megan

"Death, Taxes, and Jill" -Mike

"You'll Feel Fresher When You've Had a Little Twiss" -Megan

"Jill Twiss--She's Sorry She's From South Dakota" -Tom

"Comedy with a Twiss" -Norman and Josh

"Jill--She Knows She Should Have Been a Stripper" -Alex

"Jill Twiss--Like Crack, But Cheaper and More Addictive" -Matt

"Funny? Hit Me and You'll See Who's Funny!" -T.J.

THIRD PLACE:

"Jill Twiss--Don't Hate Her Because She's Beautiful. Hate Her Because She's Funnier Than You."

--submitted by Medina


SECOND PLACE:

"Jill Twiss--The Anti-Drug"

--submitted by Matt


FIRST PLACE:

"Jill Twiss--Turning Men Gay Since 1989"

--submitted by Tom


Look out for the next VERY EXCITING CONTEST next month.