At my show last night there was a girl in the audience that had a cute little pink and white sparkly purse. And on that purse, embossed in cute little pink and white sparkly letters, it said, ‘FUCK YOU.’ It was a little disconcerting to see such a pretty, happy, sparkly purse with such a rude message.

I just spent the last three days at three different doctors. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that they put dozens of metal instruments into places in my body where, in my opinion, metal instruments should never go. Not even if you’re Mormon.

Today, I think I understand that purse. Because, if you just glance at me, I look as cute and perky and joyful as ever. But look a little closer. If you look real hard, you can just make out the "FUCK YOU" in pink and white sparkly letters. Said with a smile, but said nevertheless.

Mom, I'm sorry you had to read this. But I'm very grouchy tonight.

And no, I don't know what I meant about the Mormons either.