Today I'm going to give you a little insight into the writing process of a stand-up comic. Me, to be exact.

Writing comedy is a long and arduous process. My process looks something like this:

1) Choose some insanely small detail about life that I find interesting or annoying.
2) Write down my incoherent thoughts on the subject using particularly bad spelling and grammar.
3) Cut 98.4% of what I wrote and find a punchline.
4) Publish it on my blog or try it in my routine.

Today's entries are concepts that never made it past step 2. Maybe you can turn them into something humorous on your own. And yes, I'm still sick. When I'm not, I'll get back to writing you real jokes.